to my future husband

         I know we haven't met yet, but I'm so in love with you. I'm thanking God in advance every night for sending you to me. Sending me someone who is able to love me purely. Love me despite of my faults. Love me in spite of surrounding temptations. It took awhile to get where we are, but, baby, we got the kind of love that they sang about back in the day lol.  I know sometimes subconsciously I do things that offend you.  I know I get on your nerves sometimes. I know I get needy, nag, or sometimes my temper gets the best of me.  I know I'm three much at times, but thank you for having patience with me. You're my king and I am your queen. Thank you for making me feel like the most beautiful woman in the world. Thank you.
         I never thought love would be like this. Of course, I fantasized and dreamt, but to actually live through something like this is...is....I just can't articulate.  We have that 1 Corinthian 13:4-7 type love. 
         And this love will last forever! As we submit ourselves to the Lord, and I become your Proverbs 31 noble wife, the universe is our limit. Actually, there is no limit to what we can achieve. It's not about what you can do for me or what I can do for you, but what we can do together.  Just don't forget: haste makes waste; and slow and steady wins the race. 
         I know I can be lazy at times, but even after our kids, I promise to keep myself up.  I promise not to get too comfy that I'll be embarrassing lol. I'll do my best to remain the same chick you fell in love with. Hair done. Nails done. Fancy ;)
        Communication is key. Don't hold back from me. Problem? Concern? Talk to me...not my neighbor. Tell me any and everything that's on your mind, but be tactful and respectful of course. The more we talk about and talk through things, they less grey area we will have. This is very important to me. 

God. Patience.

Reciprocity. Communication. 

Selflessness. Respect. 

Faith. Positivity. 

Exclusivity. Common ground.

... are just a few things that makes this marriage perfect! 

        
I'm so excited to love you for the rest of our lives. *bisou*

dose of rejection...

so this weekend i finally got the courage to say something to a crush...it was an out of sight out of mind type thing. i had a hard crush on him for a while, so those feeling went AWOL. but when i saw him again these feelings resurfaced. granted it was like a kindergarden crush, because i cannot really see myself settling down, wife and kids, picket fence, type deal with him, but he seems like someone hella cool to kick it with and see where it goes. so this weekend i text him with casual conversation, then came out and told him-in so many words-that i had a crushy wushy on him. so after he realized what i was talking about and that i was NOT interested in casual sex he replies that he's not necessarily interested in a relationship right now because he wants to focus on school work, etc. i'm like uhmmmm if that's a cop out just say you're not interested..i'm a big girl i'll be okay. but he said that wasn't it.

i spoke with another male friend and he says that i should not look at it like a REJECTION but what it is...he doesn't want to be in a relationship and probably especially so because i'm "not tryna give up that booty (abstinence post coming soon) (hmmm...how would his answer have differed if i was?)."

i understand rejection is a part of life. i'm not always going to get my way...no matter what i think. i mean i'm not CRUSHED (pun intended) about it...i'm actually 100% over it. just tryna understand the mentality of men. *cliche kanye shrug*